Hello september, hello autumn

Hello old friend,
what kind of depression do you have for me this year?

The one I'm feeling dead inside?
The one I'm really really sensitive about everything?
The one where I can't find the colors in my life?
The one where I feel frozen and freezing?
The one where I am lost and can't seem to know myself anymore?
The one where I feel really lonely?
The one where you bring back old painful memories?
The one where no matter what I do I feel sad and empty?
or maybe...
The one where I have a mixture of anger and regret inside and I don't even know why?
No?
Oh...maybe the one where I don't have any inner motivation anymore?
...the one I lose my will to live?



You know what autumn?
In the past...6-7 years you always had one of these for me, or maybe a mix of them.
Anyway, the point is, things are now different.
Many people say the autumn depression is a cliche, but I think not.
At least for me it wasn't.
Summer was over=holiday was over
Holiday was over=school started
School started=Problems started
etc. etc. etc.

I know is not gonna be easy this year either. But at least I will fight this vicious circle messing up my life every year.

This time I want to say:
"Hello autumn!" with a smile on my face.

I promise I'll try to see the goods of this season and I'll repaint my room SCREAMING ORANGE with YELLOW DOTS if that will be necessary.

So, I don't know what the end of summer means for you all, but I wish you'll have one hell of a nice autumn.

I know I'll try to have one.

The girl with the red umbrella.

I like to sleep with my socks on.
Only my socks on.

I like to eat whenever I want, what I want.
And I eat dessert first, if i feel like doing so.

I like hugs and laughing.
I could hug and laugh all day long. Makes me happy.

I like to look at people in the subway and imagine their stories.
I like to smile.

I like colors, baby animals, nature, long walks and sweets.
I like to lay down in the middle of the room and listen to music.

I like painting. Especially painting with my fingers.
Feeling the paint with my pores.

I like to speak my mind and staying true to myself.
I like sincerity and sunshine.

I like pure air.
I like to really breath.

I like to make bubblegum balloons.
Even if I am in the middle of a serious meeting.

I like to stay up at night and simply stare at the moon.
I like to howl in the middle of the street and dance in the rain.

Speaking of rain, I don't like having an umbrella.
If absolutely necessary, I prefer a red one.

I'm the girl with the red umbrella.



And I don't give a fuck if u disagree.

Poisoned

The taste of blood filing his mouth and that strong white light almost blinding him.
"Come on this shit can't be true" he thought, but his knees got soft and he felt to the ground.
"FUCK" was the last thought that came through his mind when his pale face hit the cold, dusty ground.
Right before his view became unclear, within a glance, he saw her coming above him, then a total darkness took hold of his entire being.
He tried to lift his arms, move his legs or his head, but his body wasn't responding anymore.
Only the warmth of her sweet lips kissing him was still perceptible.He was such a fool.
"I love you. I kill you."
She poisoned him.

I think...

It's all about meeting the right people.